Saturday, May 25, 2013

Perez Hilton is Secretly Straight


Perez Hilton, perhaps the most overated gossip blogger, has finally issued an apology for calling Will.i.am a faggot. Yes, Perez Hilton really did call Will.i.am a faggot. It's kind of weird, but I think that all this proves what I've always known to be true. Perez Hilton is straight. There, I said it.

I think that Perez Hilton is just acting gay so that he can get closer to women and then Bang! And he'll always say, "Wow, I don't know how that happened. I really did like penis, you know?"

But all kidding aside, or not, I think this might actually be the beginning of the official "We hate Perez Hilton" campaign. Forget Prop 8, Perez Hilton is the person we need to focus on here.

We all managed to slowly push Paris Hilton out of the mainstream media because she was so useless; now it's up to us to do the same with Perez Hilton.

Personally, I think Perez Hilton deserves a whole lot more than a black eye.

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