Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Julia Roberts Gets Drunk, Honors Tom Hanks


Julia Roberts is usually known for giving speeches in which she strokes her own ego in a subtle way. Well, all that has changed, my friend.

Julia Roberts gave a speech to honor Tom Hanks at the Film Society of Lincoln Center, and man did Julia Roberts ever make attending a gig like that worthwhile.

Julia Roberts' speech went something like this (and yes, she was hella drunk):

"Alright well, it's late and I'm paying my babysitter overtime and I have to pee. So Tom, everybody fucking likes you. All my bits are gone. Listen, I had lunch today with Rita [Wilson], and her tits were here [motioned high] and her waist was here [motioned small] and her ass was like that [motioned high], so what can I tell you that's new? Tom Hanks, what the f*ck?

"I love the Coen brothers, but the hair Tom [Ladykillers], I didn't even know what the fuck that movie was about! You in the airport with the accent (Terminal)? It was a pass for me. Airport? Were you just an immigrant lost? I didn't know. I love you, and I didn't know what to do, really. God, I’m wearing the same f*cking dress tonight as your publicist! Listen, I've got to get home. But this much we know ... I will say this: Tom Hanks, I love you." 

Seriously, I have a new respect for Julia.

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